


If I Told You Reasons Why

by AphroditesDaughter (MadamRoyale)



Category: Swimming RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-07 23:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/754212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadamRoyale/pseuds/AphroditesDaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael needs to tell Ryan everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Told You Reasons Why

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little ficlet that was directly inspired by the song Ride by Cary Brothers. Go have a listen. It's haunting. I thought it applied very well to Phlochte.

What the fuck was Michael doing?

This was by the far the most ridiculous thing he’s ever done. That says something from a lifetime of bad decisions, only a fraction having made their way into public view. But there was something. That something he buried down deep and tried to forget was there. He used a barrage of things – golf, alcohol, gambling, beautiful women - to keep it at bay. Guard it from escaping the cell he created. But it wouldn't die. It wouldn't stay dormant. And now that something had demanded he drops everything and immediately go to him. 

So here Michael was, sitting in Ryan’s living room. His brand new living room with the same leather sectional they had fucked countless times on. New glass tables though. The kind of tables that could only hold decorative bowls full of dry, wicker balls of various sizes. The whole place was new. Brand new cabinets, drywall, all perfectly decorated to offer the feeling of a well-appointed museum. 

He begged Devon for the new address. And for some reason, the brattiest member of the Lochte family had offered no fight. He gave it to Michael and said Ryan would be back in the afternoon. Michael had a feeling Devon would make himself scarce for the foreseeable future. 

Michael just sat on that couch with all of his memories. Stolen moments that seemed to belong to a life he didn't quite recognize. A life with no owner and whose contents were becoming hazy like the late afternoon in the grueling Florida summer. 

There was no fight. No temper tantrums or ultimatums. No one cheated. No one accused the other of cheating. They just stopped. That was it. Everything was going accordingly and then it was over. Ryan got famous, like really famous. People who could only name one swimmer could now name two because Ryan’s notoriety. Michael left. And suddenly he and Ryan didn't have a whole lot in common. Except they were completely fucking in love with each other. Details, details. 

So maybe that’s why Michael was sitting there. Or maybe it was because his life was a little less bright without Ryan. Or maybe because Ryan was becoming the Ryan of bad rumors and not the Ryan he knew. Or maybe it was all of those reasons. Or none of them. 

Maybe he just wanted the ache to stop. 

The door opened and in walked Ryan with damp hair and a clouded look. He stopped and just looked at Michael. 

Michael had one chance. He could lay it out or be awkward. He could try and verbalize it all or regret every action. 

“Ryan. I don’t know how to even say this. This impossible situation between us. I used to think it wasn't supposed to happen. We were ruining each other. But you've seen my dark and you stayed. You put up with me and still come back. I don’t think I could love anyone as much as I love you. My greatest accomplishment was when I had your love. Because when you loved me, I was the best version of myself.”

Ryan stood there. Lost but suddenly found. 

“There is no ‘when I loved you’. I never stopped.”

It had always been Michael and Ryan, Ryan and Michael.


End file.
